'Self Care is Indulgent'....when I observed this thought cross my mind, I knew instantly I wanted to weed it out of my consciousness.
This is a belief that I picked up somewhere along the way that does not serve me. Once I noticed it, I am now working on shifting it. Before marriage & a baby, I was pretty good at self care. I got to my yoga mat regularly. I got massages on a quarterly basis, facials too. I knew how to relax and when I needed it, I did. I took trips when I craved them. I stayed home with a book when I felt like it. I never caught the FOMO that was going around; I was content to march to the beat of my own drum.
Once I got married, although Kleyton didn't ask me to do this, I started paying less attention to my own needs. I started to believe that maybe by self sacrificing, I could make our union stronger. Perhaps the needs of "we" were more important than the needs of me while we were newlyweds. I skipped yoga in favor of spending time together. I looked at our budget instead of my budget and felt a little guilty when I spent our money on me getting a massage. I went longer in between getting my haircut to extend our cash. I stopped getting manicures. I made small shifts away from things that I consider to be self care in a hundred different ways.
When baby came along, my commitment to self slipped even lower. It went to almost zero for awhile. I didn't shower for days. I ate whatever was easy to grab. I skipped yoga entirely. I lacked sleep in a major way. I started to accept that now just wasn't the time for me, nothing less than 100% devotion to my newborn would do. And you know what... my mental health took a serious hit using this approach.
Recently, I am just starting to prioritize myself again. I am more conscious now about when I devote time to myself and more grateful when I do. With the help of Kleyton, family and babysitters, I have put myself back in the drivers seat as it relates to my own health.
Here are some alternate beliefs about self care that I am trying on for size until I find one that lands with me.
1. Self Care is Health Care.
2. Self Care benefits me & those around me.
3. Taking Care of oneself lifts the energy of my life and the lives of others.
4. Self Care is helpful.
5. When I give to myself, I give to others.
So, today, in the spirit of self care, I took an extra long shower. This may sound like a small thing but when I noticed myself rushing through a hot shower and trying to get out as fast as possible to get back to the baby, it was one of those light bulb moments. A-ha, I don't even feel myself worthy of a decent shower? WHOA! During my hours that I have a babysitter, I am prioritizing a 30 minute foot massage in addition to prioritizing my work that I need to get done today. I am eating healthfully. I will meditate at some point today. These mini commitments to self remind me that I matter, my health matters, my mood matters, my joy matters.
My recent re-commitment to self is a reminder that at any time with any belief that I have adopted, I can choose again. I can come back to myself now, one day, one month, or minute or even one breath at a time.
Examine the beliefs that you hold that do not serve you. Noticing is the first step to the path back home.
#youmatter #selflove #selfcare