Self Care is ...

'Self Care is Indulgent'....when I observed this thought cross my mind, I knew instantly I wanted to weed it out of my consciousness.  

This is a belief that I picked up somewhere along the way that does not serve me.  Once I noticed it, I am now working on shifting it.  Before marriage & a baby, I was pretty good at self care.  I got to my yoga mat regularly. I got massages on a quarterly basis, facials too.  I knew how to relax and when I needed it, I did.  I took trips when I craved them.  I stayed home with a book when I felt like it.  I never caught the FOMO that was going around; I was content to march to the beat of my own drum.

Once I got married, although Kleyton didn't ask me to do this, I started paying less attention to my own needs.  I started to believe that maybe by self sacrificing, I could make our union stronger.  Perhaps the needs of "we" were more important than the needs of me while we were newlyweds. I skipped yoga in favor of spending time together.  I looked at our budget instead of my budget and felt a little guilty when I spent our money on me getting a massage.  I went longer in between getting my haircut to extend our cash.  I stopped getting manicures.  I made small shifts away from things that I consider to be self care in a hundred different ways.


When baby came along, my commitment to self slipped even lower.  It went to almost zero for awhile.  I didn't shower for days.  I ate whatever was easy to grab.  I skipped yoga entirely.  I lacked sleep in a major way.  I started to accept that now just wasn't the time for me, nothing less than 100% devotion to my newborn would do.  And you know what... my mental health took a serious hit using this approach.


Recently, I am just starting to prioritize myself again.  I am more conscious now about when I devote time to myself and more grateful when I do.  With the help of Kleyton, family and babysitters, I have put myself back in the drivers seat as it relates to my own health.   


Here are some alternate beliefs about self care that I am trying on for size until I find one that lands with me.  


1. Self Care is Health Care.

2. Self Care benefits me & those around me.

3. Taking Care of oneself lifts the energy of my life and the lives of others.

4. Self Care is helpful.

5. When I give to myself, I give to others.



So, today, in the spirit of self care, I took an extra long shower.  This may sound like a small thing but when I noticed myself rushing through a hot shower and trying to get out as fast as possible to get back to the baby, it was one of those light bulb moments.  A-ha, I don't even feel myself worthy of a decent shower?  WHOA!  During my hours that I have a babysitter, I am prioritizing a 30 minute foot massage in addition to prioritizing my work that I need to get done today.  I am eating healthfully.  I will meditate at some point today.  These mini commitments to self remind me that I matter, my health matters, my mood matters, my joy matters.


My recent re-commitment to self is a reminder that at any time with any belief that I have adopted, I can choose again.  I can come back to myself now, one day, one month, or minute or even one breath at a time.  


Examine the beliefs that you hold that do not serve you.  Noticing is the first step to the path back home.


--- Lauren 


#youmatter #selflove #selfcare