Scare your Soul (www.scareyoursoul.com) is a project for which I am lucky enough to be an ambassador.
The global courage challenge is something I participated in last year and I truly believe in the concept.
When asked to be an ambassador this year, I said YES without hesitating. Why wouldn’t I align myself with a cause and personal growth work that I SO believe in. Then, I looked at my schedule and realized that hosting an in-person meet-up with Scott, the co-founder to support me was not going to happen easily. In fact, it didn’t’ happen at all. Enter… FEAR! Could I still champion this cause remotely? Could I do itin my own way, on the internet?
After talking to Scott, I committed to taking one of three actions. Scott giving me permission to participate in my own way allowed me a deep exhale. Ahh, I could still contribute and still be part of the FUN without disappointing anyone.
As I sat with it more and tapped into Scott for ideas/brainstorm about how to participate, I decided I’d use the wide world of social media to participate. I would use the Facebook group feature to participate in the Challenge with any of my connections who wanted to join me.
Then, I noticed more resistance come up. What the heck was I so afraid of? Today it dawned on me. This has been coming up for me a lot in my life lately. It is the difference between INDEPENDENCE, CO-DEPENDENCE, and INTERDEPENDENCE. I have been one to hang my hat on my Independence. I often proclaimed that I was an independent woman, I don’t NEED anyone else and I WILL be fine on my own. This showed up in my interactions with co-workers, my husband, my friends, etc. I feared that if I was NOT independent, then that meant I was CO-DEPENDENT, a word and idea that I LOATHED! Well, recently I realized that I have been missing the boat and the gift of another option….there is a middle path called INTERDEPENDENCE. Interdependence, the idea that we all need each other in this life, that we are here to support each other, that we are all part of the human family for a reason and that we are better together. Interdependence is defined in the dictionary as a “mutual reliance between two or more groups”. In my recent experience, I have learned that interdependence actually feels REALLY good! It’s like a great yoga class where the whole is better than the sum of it’s parts. It’s the reason why practicing in a group feels good, we are all breathing and moving together, creating a shared experience. Interdependence shows up in my marriage when I allow my husband to help me set up the babies nursery, because guess what, its more fun together and he WANTS to be part of it. Interdependence is when you give someone a gift and they willingly accept it and appreciate it, there is a mutual exchange. It shows up in life when you go to someone’s wake or funeral, not for the person who passed but for those who are in grief and they are grateful for your support. It is the reason why we drop off meals at a new mother’s home or offer to bring someone who is sick chicken soup. Interdependence shows up in a million ways in this life and guess what, it’s a beautiful thing. Interdependence makes the world go ‘round. Interdependence shows up in nature, the sun feeds the plants and the plants feed us and then we feed the plants, the cycle continues. It shows up in humanity. It is EVERYWHERE if you look around. It was a big aha for me and yet, it’s been here all along. I was just blind to it in my own life. SO, my BIG smack in the face about interdependence shows up in this Challenge. In my life, I have been hesitant to ask others for help or to do anything for me because I don’t want to burden people since people are already so busy… and because I don’t really NEED help. That was my old belief. I rarely asked others for help because, by doing so, I thought I was a burden. Instead, I am learning though, that’s not my new TRUTH. My truth is that I DO need others, I need connection. I need you and maybe you need me. By asking for help and allowing others to be a bigger part of my life, I encourage connection and CONNECTION is really the gift of life. Remember that Will Smith movie where he’s left here all alone? It just looks so AWFUL when you think about a world without connection & interdependence!
SO, my courageous action here is having the courage to ask you to JOIN me on the SYS challenge in the spirit of interdependence. It’s hard to me to ask, because again, I used to believe that I was independent and don’t need anyone. My new truth is, I would love to connect with you and in order to do so, I have to make myself a little vulnerable and ask you to be part of this fun little project with me.
Are you willing to take a look at those areas that might be holding you back in life? Maybe, you are like me and a quest for independence is holding you back from experiencing true connection with others or allowing others to help you move past limitations and blocks in your life.
I encourage you to join me. Sign up at www.scareyoursoul.com/join or message me on Facebook to join the Group that I created.